Reclaiming
by Venka le fay
Summary: Sequel to Hostage. Donatello has been unconscious slumber ever since the events he had endured at the hands of the Shredder. And the perpetual feverish sleep has left everyone concerned as to whether he would ever really return. Note: Some inspiration from the "Tales of Leo" episode in the 2003 series.
1. Prologue

Reclaiming

by Venka Le Fay

**Don't own TMNT, like many I wish I did. This fic is purely for entertainment purposes. This is a sequel to Hostage. If you haven't read Hostage yet, this is the time to go read it. **

Karai watched silently from a nearby rooftop as Leonardo and Raphael raced away from the research facility. Leonardo had his taller younger brother draped over his shell as he ran, blood decorating his shell with every step. For a small moment Karai's hand gripped the hilt of her tanto. She could end the three of them right now, perhaps the scrawny one first or maybe Leonardo and Donatello would both end in a single strike. The violent one would blindly fall victim to his anger and grief and be easily defeated. Then it would only be a matter of time when the littlest turtle or possibly the girl came out of hiding to learn what had befallen their companions.

But she stayed her hand, as though part of this didn't seem right. Her father had told her repeatedly that Hamato Yoshi needed to be found because of the stain of dishonor that he had placed on their family. And yet where was the honor in beating someone to death, let alone someone who was unable to defend himself.

While Donatello didn't mean anything to her, Leonardo did have some meaning to her. Leonardo was the first person to pique her interest, particularly with the way that even though their families were mortal enemies he still kept a belief that there was something in her that was...she couldn't place it. He just insisted that there was something in her that was different from the rest of the foot. Even when he had brought her into their mobile command unit, they had listened to what she had had to say about defeating the Kraang ship that was attacking them. The turtles, while it was clear they had no trust for her given her allegiance to their sworn enemy. They were willing to hear what she had to say and consider her offer and let her leave without any fight. Ultimately they had betrayed her and attempted to killed her father, and that was something she would never forgive the turtles for. But if the roles had been reverse, would she have not done the same thing. Would she not have attacked the man they called their master? Would she not have betrayed them to the Foot clan and left their fate in her father's hands?

And yet the way Leonardo glared at her when she had given them Donatello's eye mask. It had unnerved her and for a moment she felt a pang of fear as the words Leonardo had said months ago echoed in her mind.

"Understand this…stay away from my brothers. If you come after them! I'll come after you!" While she specifically was not involved in Donatello's capture, she was the messenger. But at that moment, she was just as guilty as she would have been if she had captured and killed the purple masked terrapin herself.

Karai had watched Donatello undergo the prolonged beatings, the electrocutions, and the near drowning experience. And through it all no matter how much suffering he had endured, he still resolutely refused to reveal the location of his family. It was after the escape attempt that the Shredder lost all focus of having the boy as a hostage and more as a something he needed to force into submission or destroy as useless trash.

She couldn't understand how anyone could endure such pain and not break. Even when he did appear to break under her fathers will, it was still a lie, a sham to lead her father away from his families hide out. She had seen many people face her father's wrath before, many people who touted themselves as unbreakable became quivering masses of jelly after several moments of torture under fathers direction. Others swallowed their own tongues so the pain wouldn't continue. But this boy who was obviously no match for her father in skill, endured all the pain and suffering for a family that wouldn't come out of hiding for him until they discovered the bug that had been placed on their vehicle. A family he may as well have believed to have abandoned him an ordinary girl who for some unknown reason was at the center of all the things going on in this city. It made Karai wonder, who truly understood the meaning of honor.


	2. Subconscious Acknowledgment

Donatello sat curled in mountain forest in front of a campfire. The place was calm and peaceful; he was free of pain, free of suffering, and strangely enough free of loneliness. He didn't have any older brothers giving him a hard time for being a weaker fighter then everyone else. He didn't have a younger brother bugging him with inane questions or tossing water balloons at him when he was trying to concentrate.

The small tongues of flickering flames in front of him shed only a small ring of light that only reached about six feet in all directions. Occasionally Donnie would throw on some sticks and tree litter on to the flames to help build them up, but doing so would cause painful sensations.

In the darkness beyond the ring of light he could see shadows of creatures and beings waiting for him to let the small fire in front of him to die out. Occasionally some of these shadows would be someone familiar to him in some way. He couldn't discern who they were, but the figures would encourage him to keep the fire burning because it was the only way to keep other shadows at bay.

Strangely Donnie could feel himself beginning to tired, however every time started to close his eyes the flames would start to die down. The familiar shadows would intone he should stay awake and keep the fire burning. But they would never say how long he had to keep this up, he had nearly exhausted the supply of tree litter and twig he had available in the ring of light the fire gave off. Eventually he was going to have to let the light of the fire die and allow the demons who hid within the darkness to claim him.

* * *

"Guys come quick!" Mikey yelled from the lab where he had been keeping his turn at vigil over Donatello's unconscious form. "It's Donnie."

April was the first to arrive in the room, followed by Leo and Raph who had been sparring in the Dojo. It had been one week since Donatello had found in that research facility and returned home. A whole week and he had yet to wake up from the meditation induced coma Splinter had put him under as a means of separating him from the pain he was feeling. The perpetual unconsciousness of the fifteen year old genius was weighing heavily on the minds of everyone.

When they had first heard Mikey calling them, for a short moment they all hoped Donatello was finally waking up. However they quickly realized Mikey's cries were of alarm. Upon arrival they immediately saw the cause of the distress. Donatello had apparently come out of his coma, but had descended into the delirium of an oncoming fever.

Donatello was thrashing in the bed causing the sheets and blankets which were soaking with sweat to tangle around his body. His eyes were screwed tight, his chest heaving in short gasps of air as though he was having difficulty breathing. Mikey stood off to the side his eyes wide with horror and worry as to what he should do. He had seen fevers before, but never this bad. April at once took charge of the situation.

"Raph, get some cool water and some towels." She said as she approached the bed. "Mikey get an ice pack. Leo, help me get him to calm down." Everyone obediently went to their perspective tasks. Leo rushed to the bed ripping aside the bed clothes and tossing them aside before carefully pulling Donatello into his arms lowering him to the cool concrete of the floor. Donnie's flesh was so hot, Leo could feel it burn as he held his brother close.

"It's alright Donnie," He whispered into his brothers ear, "You're safe now, you're just having a nightmare." As the voice of his elder brother was the key to breaking the spell, Donnie went rigid on last time before settling limply in his brothers arms

* * *

Donatello looked up from where he was seated by the fire. He had heard a voice just now, a voice that sounded like Leo's, but it was so far away he couldn't make out what was being said but would recognize the voice of his brother from anywhere. Leo was lost somewhere in the darkness, maybe the others were too. Still he didn't know if he should be so trusting of the voice, he had thought he had heard his brothers voices before and woke up to find himself alone in captivity and his brothers nowhere to be found. He didn't want to be fooled, not again.

* * *

April had stripped the bedding on the futon, replacing the sweaty sheets and pillow cases with fresh ones allowing Leo to return Donatello to the futon where he shivered as if cold. She watched as Donatello would unconsciously respond to his elder brother's touch as if sensing the person with him was someone he could trust. Occasionally Donnie would intone a Japanese word softly in his sleep. A word April couldn't quite understand or hear correctly, but it was obvious that it was something Leo understood.

"I'm here, Donnie." Leo softly whispered back. "It's okay, you just rest."

"Is he…?" Mikey asked when he returned with the ice pack.

"I don't know, Mikey?" Leo answered softly to his youngest brother April sat down on the bed cradling Donatello's head in her lap. Carefully applying the ice pack to his burning flesh, Raph entered with the water and towels followed by a concerned Splinter. Leo moved aside to make room for their adoptive father.

Splinter quietly knelt at his son's side as though not surprised by the resulting fever. Gently he placed a paw like hand against Donatello's face as he checked his son's temperature.

"April." The man sized rat addressed the human girl. "There is a cup of green tea in the kitchen, could you bring it to me please?"

"Sure." April answered as she carefully slipped off the futon and left the room. When she was gone, Splinter carefully soaked and wrung out the one of the washcloths Raphael brought, and had begun cleansing the sweat from Donatello's face and body.

"Geeze, how much longer is he going to be out of commission Sensei?" Raphael grumbled letting his worry and irritation accumulate into frustration.

"Healing takes time," Splinter answered with a sigh as he stroked the long beard like strand of fur that descended from his chin before he placed a gentle hand on Donatello's bandaged shoulders. "The injuries your brother have not only damaged his body, but his spirit as well. The damages to his arms and shoulders had been done with the intent of permanently disabling him being able to use his skills to fight alongside you. No doubt as a way to punish him for his brave attempt at escaping his captors. I was able to sew much of the damage back together, but there is still damage that is permanent. Even if your brother does return to us, he will not be the same Donatello who once fought at your side."

The other turtles all looked at each other sorrowfully while they clinched fists in anger over what had been done to their brother and friend. April returned to the Lab bearing the cup of lukewarm tea from the kitchen. Splinter gently propped Donatello against one arm allowing the teenagers head to tilt back slightly and carefully dribbled the cup of tea into the young turtle's mouth. The fatherly rodent allowed the warmish liquid to make its way down the boy's throat before adding some more. As if sensing he was being held by someone caring Donnie turned his head into Splinters arm before he was lowered to back to the mattress.

"That's the second time I've seen him react to any of you touching him." April commented.

"That doesn't surprise me," Splinter answered as he draped a cool towel over his son's burning body.

"It's kind of like he's letting us know he's aware of us…" Leo answered taking one of his younger brother's hands in his. "Only it's questionable as to how aware he actually is."

"So it's sort of like a subconscious acknowledgment." April responded in understanding.

"Oh great," Raphael grumbled "Somehow our fearless leader has turned into Donnie."

"Dude, you just said that like it was a bad thing." Michelangelo commented. Donnie responded by letting out a small groan.

"I think he heard you, Raph." Leo answered wryly.

"I've also over heard him say things to you Leo." April pointed out. "He keeps calling you something when you're holding him or nearby. I don't know what he's saying, I just know it's Japanese."

"Oh wow," Mikey said. "I haven't heard him call you that since we were two years old."

"Donnie…" Leo answered letting his fingers brush against Donatello's face. As a result Donatello leaned his head towards his brothers hand, softly mumbling 'An..i..ki' in an almost childlike voice. "The word you've been hearing Donnie say is "Aniki." It's Japanese for big brother." Leo's blue eyes softened almost sorrowfully as he continued to watch his younger brother trapped within his fitful feverish slumber.

"I gather this isn't something he calls you all that much?" April inquire.

"No," Leo answered. "It used to be his nickname for me when we had been really small, but now there is only two reasons he would use it...when he's seriously frightened by something, or when he's stressed such as now."

"I wonder." Splinter commented as he stroked his long furry beard in thought. "It is said that the voices of loved ones can guide a lost soul back to its home. Perhaps we have the power to reclaim you brother from wherever he has gone."

"That sounds a little too iffy." Raph gruffed dubiously. "It's been over a week now Sensei, if you ask me I don't think Donnie want's to wake up. If he did, wouldn't he have done so by now." Donnie responded softly groaning once again.

"I do admit it sounds a little too uncertain." April answered. "But we've seen signs that it might be crazy enough to work."

"Anyone want to give a first try?" Splinter asked as he turned to his adoptive children.

"Ooo how about me!" Mikey eagerly raised his hand. Leo at once left Donatello's side and allowed Mikey to take his place. Michelangelo held his older brothers hand and focused on Donnie's face for a small moment before he began.

* * *

Donatello noticed with some dismay that the natural fuel he had been putting onto the fire was practically gone. He had been hearing the voices of his brothers, father, and April somewhere off in the darkness. But they always sounded too far away to hear all that well. At that moment he heard the sound of something or someone approaching when out of the shadows, Michelangelo appeared dressed in a bright orange kimono.

"Hey Donnie!" He said as he knelt in front of the fire across from his brother.


	3. Thanks for being my bro

Donatello didn't know what to think seeing his only younger brother across the fire from himself. He could feel something squeeze his heart painfully, he never realize how much you can actually miss someone until you see them for the first time in what felt like ages.

Mikey continued to sit on the other side of the fire without speaking. When he finally did, his voice somewhat clear but distant as if he was talking through a wall of pillows from at least a room away.

"You've got to return to us Donnie." Mikey said his smile fading to a more earnest expression. "I know you've been through shell-knows-what, and you've got to be hurting bad. But everyone misses you, and they really need you to pull through this. You've certainly helped us a lot of times, and there have been moments where I wouldn't even be sitting here with you today if you hadn't been around. Like remember that time when we were turtle-tweens. That time when we were exploring the sewers and Raph wanted to play hide and seek.

* * *

_*Flash Back*_

_"All right Donnie, face the wall and start counting backwards from fifty." Raph said._

_"Why am I the first one it?" Donnie complained. "I'm always the one who's it?"_

_"Well maybe that would change if you manage to catch one of us?" Raph snarked._

_"That's not fair," Donnie complained. "Why can't you guys be it for once?"_

_"Okay boys, let's all vote 'who should be it?'" Leo asked._

_"Donnie" Leo, Raph, Mikey all said in unison._

_"Alright fine." The 11 year old genius grouched as stood in a corner and started to count. "50…49…48…47…46" The other three turtle-tweens rushed to find their respective hiding spots. Michelangelo rushed down a side tunnels trying to find a good spot to hide, finally finding one tunnel that was boarded up, but one space between the boards was big enough for the young turtle to squeeze through._

_"Donnie will never find me here." Mikey chucked to himself. If Mikey had looked further down the tunnel at that moment, he would have seen a large pool of water, and something large that seemed to have its hungry attention on him._

_"5…4…3…2…1" Donnie finished counting. "Ready or not, here I come." Turning Donnie continued down the tunnels. His mahogany brown eyes scanning the gloomy shadows and pipes overhead looking for his brothers, he passed by one tunnel. His instincts as a Ninja told him not to leave it unchecked, but the boards showed no sign of being undisturbed and the word Danger written across one board told him to keep moving._

_Mikey hugged the wall as he watched his older brother pass the boarded up tunnel. Donnie just seemed walk by it almost without noticing. It was like he didn't even consider looking in the boarded up tunnel._

_~This hiding spot is epic.~ Mikey mentally cheered. ~Maybe I can actually scare Donnie out of his shell.~ At that moment he felt something bite into his leg and start to pull him backward. Mikey didn't process the pain at first, largely because he was frozen with fear as he saw his right leg clamped in the jaws of a very large alligator._

_Donnie hurriedly turned around as soon as he heard Mikey cries for help echoing from the boarded up tunnel. His stomach clinched in fear, he should have known Mikey would have been foolish enough to ignore or overlook common sense._

_"Leo, Raph" Donnie yelled as he rushed to the tunnel pulling out his bo he hurriedly began prying a way the boards from the wall. "Mikey's in trouble!"_

_Mikey pulled out one of his nunchucks and tried hitting the alligator on the head, face, anywhere that would get the scaly beast to let go. And it worked, only for the alligator to grab the young turtle around the shell and continue dragging his prey to a watery grave._

_"Mikey!" Donnie cried out his younger brother's name in horror. Raph arriving from where ever he was hiding and unceremoniously tossed Donatello aside causing the purple masked terrapin to stumble backwards only to be caught by Leo. Breaking through the boards Raph's eyes widened in horror before narrowing in anger as he pulled out his sais. _

_"No walking handbag is going to make my baby brother into a midnight snack!" He growled at the alligator who was crushing his brothers shell in his jaws as it continued to crawl backwards towards its watery home._

_"Careful Raph," Leo called as he drew his katana, Donatello following close behind with his bo staff in hand. "That thing has Mikey"_

_"I know, and I am going to make it regret the day it laid its beady eyes on him." Raph snarled. _

_"If you guys could save me before you kill the gater, that would be great!" Mikey yelled. Raph lunged at the alligator; however the beast had reached the greater chamber of the tunnel which gave it enough room to swat the angry 11 year old turtle with its tail. _

_"Mikey!" Raph cried in horror as the alligator descended into the water taking the orange masked turtle with him. Donnie ran forward and jumped into the water swimming after the beast as it descended with its prey into the depths of the pool. Jabbing his bo staff into the Alligators mouth he attempted to leaver the iron jaws open enough for Mikey to slip free. The creature naturally didn't appreciate the turtle trying to steal its prize. Moving its body away or swatting the mutant turtle aside. But Donatello was determined to save his brother and nothing was going to stop him from doing so. _

_A splash from overhead told him one of his brothers had also jumped in to help, he didn't see which one it was until Leo joined him with a piece of metal pipe in his hands. Together the two brothers forced the alligators jaws open enough for their youngest brother to slip free. Donnie at once grabbed Mikey and started for the surface with Leo close behind. _

_Breaking to the surface Leo pulled Mikey between himself and Donatello, the two of them coughing and panting as their lungs took in some much needed air. Raphael held out his hands to Leo and Donnie who gratefully took them as he pulled his three brothers out of the water. _

_"We need to get out of here!" Leo stated a he slung one of Michelangelo's arms over his shoulders. The three older brothers racing away from the tunnel and away from the alligator as fast they could. Once they felt they were far enough for the huge and hungry reptile to give up Leo and Donatello lay Mikey on the ground. Their youngest brother wasn't conscious and hardly breathing. Raph knelt down by Mikey's side and taking his youngest brother in his arms. _

_"__Mikey...Come on, bro." Raph pleaded anxiously "No..., please, Mikey, say something!"_

_"Here," Donnie instructed. "Lay him down." Raph didn't question Donatello as he did exactly so. Donnie knelt over his younger brother had listen for breathing. Hearing none he placed both hands on Michelangelo's plastron and pushed downwards until water bubbled out of Mikey's mouth. The orange masked teen coughed and gasped his immediate older brother gently rolled him onto his side allowing the fluid to escape his air passages._

_"Guy's?" Michelangelo said in a choking gasp._

_"Mikey!" Raph said his youngest brother in relief. Mikey shakily rolled to his hands and knees continuing to cough up the water had inhaled. Leo placed a steady hand on his youngest brother's shell. Donnie hovered close by inspecting the bite marks in Mikey's right leg."_

_"Easy Mikey," Donnie said softly said. "Try not to talk right now. Nod if you feel strong enough to head home." Michelangelo thought a moment and nodded once. Both Raph and Leo hoisted one arm each over their shoulders as they traveled down the tunnels for home. Splinter was surprised to see his youngest son supported by his two eldest sons he instructed Raph and Leo to set Mikey on the couch and get some blankets. Donatello needed no instruction to get the first aid kit, as he had retrieved it before Splinter could instruct him to do so._

_"Tell me what happened?" Splinter demanded as he tended to the damage to his youngest sons leg. Donatello explained much of what happened, with Raph and Leo filling in what they knew. "I am very grateful the four of you are safe," Splinter sternly told his sons. "And it was very foolish of you to hide in that tunnel, Michelangelo. In the future I hope you remember that if a tunnel is sealed, there is a reason for it."_

_"Hai, Sensei." Mikey answered._

_"I'll make some mushroom broth for supper." Splinter stated as he finished dressing Michelangelo's leg. "The three of you should let your brother rest."_

_"Hai, Sensei." The older three turtles answered before heading off to their perspective tasks. Raph went off to talk to his pet snapping turtle Spike, Leo sat down in front of his favorite tv show. Donnie was heading for his lab when he felt someone grab his hand. Looking down he saw Mikey looking up at him with tired but smiling blue eyes._

_"Thanks for being my bro, Donnie." Mikey said as he drifted off to sleep._

*End Flashback*

* * *

"If you hadn't been there that day, I don't know if I would have survived." Mikey commented softly.

Donnie smiled at the memory; it happened so long ago he was surprised Mikey even remembered it. When he looked up he saw Mikey, had gone and his place was a fire log. Picking up the log Donnie carefully placed it on the flames, feeling a heavy jolt of pain as he did so, particularly around his shoulders. The orange tongues tentatively caressing the heavy piece of wood before they eagerly leaped onto it. The fire sent the ring of light further into the forest around him, chasing back the shadows and the demons who resided within them. In the distance he could hear the voices of his family. While they were still distant, he could make out their voices a lot clearer then he had before. It was almost as though they were closer to him but still far way, he heard calm deep resonating voice, a voice that only could have come from Splinter…from his father.

Out of the darkness footsteps slowly approached, making Donatello wonder who was paying him a visit next.

* * *

"I'm surprised none of us remembered that time when we first met Leatherhead." Raph commented. "It's kinda ironic if you think about it, Mikey's nearly eaten by a gator, and then four years later he's friends with one."

"Yeah," Mikey answered. "I still miss the big guy though. I know you guys weren't all that fond of him and Donnie, he didn't hate Leatherhead but he didn't like him all that much either, particularly with what happens during the times Leatherhead went all crazy eyed.

"We may still see him again, Mikey." Leo answered comfortingly. "And maybe when that happens Leatherhead will be able to have better control over his mind."

"Perhaps we should let your brother rest," Splinter suggested. "That is unless anyone else wants to try to guide Donatello back."

"I'll go next Master Splinter." Leo volunteered.


	4. Separated by a closed door

Leo calmly walked out from the dark forest surrounding the blazing campfire. Unlike Mikey who had been dressed in a simple kimono, Leo was dressed in a bright blue kimono and white hakama. He looked more like a noble samurai then a ninja.

The older turtle didn't speak as he knelt down in front of the fire, his face remaining neutral as he gazed across the fire at his younger brother. Donnie half wondered if he should speak to his older brother, before Leo spoke in a voice that sounded as if he was speaking directly from the kitchen.

"Hi Donnie." He said calmly. "The guys and I are all here and were waiting for you to wake up, April and Master Splinter are here too just in case you're curious."

Donnie smiled glad to know that April, his father, and brothers were waiting for him. But he didn't understand what Leo was saying about 'waiting for him to wake up'. He was awake as far as he knew…he had been awake for days. He didn't even remember how he even ended up in this forest to begin with. The last thing he remembered was his consciousness slowly fading after the Shredder had stabbed him in the stomach. The room progressively becoming colder before the cell door opened and two figures he almost thought he's imagined bursting in. After that it was all darkness, just darkness and pain. He could feel presences, comforting ones. He could also hear voices, vaguely familiar ones. But the voices sounded like they were speaking at him from underwater. One of the clearest voices softly whispered to him in Japanese. And then the feeling of a gentle four fingered hand being placed on his forehead as a deep gentle voice told him to let his mind and consciousness drift apart. Ever since then he's been trapped in this forest with a fire and shadows for company.

"I don't know how you are feeling right now, by I do know your body is very sick and it's struggling to keep you with us." Leo continued. Donnie had trouble understanding this statement. His body was sick, but wouldn't that mean he was sick? And come to think of it, didn't Mikey say something about how he should be feeling pain. But that didn't make sense; he didn't feel weakness or fatigue. In fact thanks to the log Mikey had left behind he felt…stronger. He didn't even feel tired anymore. Still there were moments when he felt pain and that only occurred when he added things to the fire, which also didn't make sense. If the fire burned him wouldn't the pain be in his hands or his fingers, not his shoulders and stomach."

"What are you talking about Leo?" Donnie asked confused. "I don't feel sick and I'm not in any pain." Leo however continued talking as if Donnie had said nothing. "Remember that time when we were seven years old, that one winter season when I came down with the flu?"

* * *

_*Flashback*_

_"Donatello, where is Leonardo?" Master Splinter had asked the young purple masked genin during training that morning. His eldest son was normally the first one up and ready before any of his younger siblings. To not see him present was almost unheard of. _

_Raphael was kneeling on one side of Donatello looking bored out of his mind while Michelangelo hadn't quite woken up just yet and was instead sleeping in a kneeling position on the other side of his immediate older brother. He would almost seem to be meditating if it wasn't for the soft snore that gave it away. _

_"I'm here sensei," A tired Leonardo stumbled into the dojo looking like he was going to throw up or faint at any moment. His eyes looking half lidded and his face taking on a slight paler shade of green than normal should have been. Leonardo's voice holding a slightly scratch tone as if it was irritated, and had the muffled tone of one with a stuffy nose. _

_"Geeze, Leo." Raph started his irritation and boredom turning to concern. "You look awful."_

_"I don't think the algae and worms, Mikey made last night agreed with me." Leo said snorting back some mucus. "But I'm okay enough for training."_

_"I don't think it agreed with anybody." Raph commented._

_"And when was the last time you made something that counted as edible?" Donnie asked challengingly. _

_"At least it's more edible then when it's your turn to cook?" Raph shot back, causing the two of them to glare challenging at each other._

_"Yame!" Splinter yelled to his second and third oldest sons, before approaching his eldest son. Gently placing the back of his hand against his son's forehead, he noted the slightly uncomfortable heat radiating off his sons skin. "Leonardo, I think its best you return to bed."_

_"No Sensei, I'm alright really," Leo tiredly protested before he collapsed into Splinters waiting arms. _

_"Come now my son," Splinter answered gently gathering the blue masked genin into his arms, before issuing a command to his second and third eldest sons. "Donatello, Raphael wake up Michelangelo! I want the three of you to practice your kata until I return."_

_"Hai, Sensei!" The older two boys responded, as their teacher and father carried their older brother back to his room. Donnie stood and watched their fathers retreating back in concern a moment before helping Raph wake up Mikey. _

* * *

_"Master Splinter, will Leo be alright?" Donnie asked once training was over. Splinter smiled appreciatively at his third sons concerns. _

_"Given a few days of rest, Leonardo will be well enough to return to training." Splinter answered placing a hand on his young sons shoulder. "However I must request that you sleep in the common area until I feel your brother is well enough to for you to be in the same room with him again."_

_"Okay," Donnie answered somewhat in understanding and disappointment. He understood it would not be good for the family to have two sick turtles, but he didn't like the idea of leaving Leo in a room by himself, or sleeping in room that wasn't his. _

* * *

_The couches in the pit weren't the most comfortable places to sleep, and Donatello found himself tossing and turning repeatedly. Getting fed up he grabbed his blankets walked to the dormitory area. He didn't open the door to the room he shared with Leo, but placed a hand against the wooden door before sitting down with his blankets wrapped around him with his shell against the door. Quietly listening to his older brother cough and sniffle just feet beyond it. _

_"Donnie?" Leo asked tiredly, his voice still sounding congested. "Donnie is that you?"_

_"I'm here Leo," Donnie answered soft enough to be heard by his older brother, but not so loud as to wake Raph and Mikey. Donnie heard some shifting movement before the sound of a shell lightly hitting against the door. Two sets of small green fingers slipped out from the space between the door, Donatello softly smiled as he hooked his older brother's fingers with his own for a short moment. "How are you feeling?"_

_"Sort of okay," Leo answered. "I wish this door wasn't separating us."_

_"That's the problem with being sick." Donnie answered. "You want your loved ones with you, but you don't want them to have the same illness as you."_

_"Master Splinter says I should be healthy enough to resume training in two to three days." Leo coughed. "And even then he wants to limit it to simple kata until he is certain I am fully recovered."_

_"Raph and Mikey missed you during training, in their own way." Donnie commented. "But you know them. Raph wanted to believe you were faking it just to get out of training, but even he knows you're not that good an actor. Besides even if you were, would you want to risk a round of Randori with Master Splinter? "Leo chuckled slightly which was quickly turned into some wet sounding coughs. _

_"Mikey wishes he could see you," Donnie states. "As do I. But this family doesn't need more than one sick turtle."_

_"I agree." Leo said his voice sounding sleepy. "I wish I can see you guys too, but none of you want this flu virus. It's not fun."_

_"Master Splinter was saying we will begin weapons training soon," Informed Donnie. "We still have much to learn before then but I'm excited about having our own weapons."_

_"So am I." Leo agreed with some excitement in his voice. "Do you know anything further about that, such as will we choose our own weapons? Or does Master Splinter have something already in mind for each of us?"_

_"I don't know if I completely understood what he was saying about it." Donnie answered. "He said that the weapon we are destined for will choose us. If you want my opinion, I can see you being a master of the katana." Leo smiled tiredly at his younger brother's statement. The katana was one weapon he was most interested in, and hoped swords would accept him as its wielder. _

_"What weapon are you interested in?" Leo asked. Donnie went quiet, so quiet Leo wondered if Donnie had fallen asleep._

_"I don't know, but I hope it's something…powerful." Donnie responded. Leo seemed to understand what Donatello was saying. Of the four of them Donnie was not the strongest, fastest, or most skilled fighter. There had been more than one moment where Leo had seen Donnie crying in frustration about how he was holding everyone back. And Raph wasn't exactly helping in that department either as the red masked turtle would often cruelly ask why Donnie even bothered to train at all. Because no matter how hard or how often Donatello went over his kata, he always seemed to fall behind the rest of his brothers. Whether Raph's heartless comments were because he was being a jerk like he could be at times. Or if that was some misguided attempt help push his brother to improve that was unknown. It was clear Donnie's was determined to prove himself as just as useful a member of their family as everyone else. _

_"I don't know what weapon will choose you." Leo answered his eyes starting to droop. "But it may be one that will surprise us all, even you." Donnie smiled softly of his older brothers words. _

_"Maybe." He said in agreement. _

_"Are you going to stay out there all night?" Leo asked, his voice sounding tired. _

_"I couldn't sleep in the common area." Donnie answered. "It just felt too…"_

_"Lonely…?" Leo supplied inquiringly. _

_"Yeah," Donnie answered. "You could say that."_

_"If it makes you feel any better…" Leo said. "It's lonely without you here too." Donatello smiled at that. He heard a slight shuffling which indicated Leo had moved away from the door and had returned to bed. Curling down in his blankets he fell asleep listening to the congested snores of his older brother on the other side of the door. And the contented snores of his other brothers just a room away. _

_*End Flashback.*_

* * *

"I know Master Splinter wasn't all that happy with the fact you did that," Leonardo commented with a wistful smile. "Particularly since you caught the same bug I had not long before I was fully recovered. But surprisingly, I actually felt less sick after that night you spent with me. It made me feel like I wasn't alone, you were there watching over me. That's something you've done for all of us, every sickness, injury, nightmares, and any other form of distress. And that's something were all trying to do for you. I can't begin to know what the Shredder did to you and I wish I can take away everything he has done. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that we all miss you, and the lair isn't the same without your gentle natured presence being there for all of us. We need you." Leo started to glow and he was becoming brighter by the minute until in a blinding flash of light that exploded into blue sparks.

"You sense it, don't you?" A shadow in the darkness said. The voice was a woman's voice, he didn't know who she was but he felt as if he had known her for years. "You are strong young one, and your family is willing you their strength to aid in your return. "

"Who are you?" Donnie asked. This was the first any of the shadows had directly spoken to him. Normally they will instruct him to keep the fire burning.

"I am someone you know of, even though we have never personally met." The woman said almost with the gentle tone of a loving mother. There was sadness, almost regretfulness in her voice, but there was happiness as well. "But I have watched over you and your family your whole lives."

"Then can you tell me where I am and how I've come to be here?" Donatello asked. The woman shadow paused a moment as if deliberating the question.

"This is the place where the man you know as your father sent you." The unknown female shadow spoke. "He sent your mind deep into your subconscious to help separate your body from the pain your physical body is suffering from. And this world is what your subconscious has created for you a peaceful haven. Now it is your task to return your mind back into your consciousness."

"And how do I do that?" Donnie asked as he eyed demonic looking apparition that lurked in the shadows like a hungry beast. A glowing tori gate appeared some distance away down an area where the clearing curved inward like a path.

"The fire before you is your bodies life force, " The woman shadow said. "As long as it burns your body lives, to reach your consciousness you must build your life force until its light reaches that gate. Unfortunately as you approach your consciousness you will feel the pain your body is suffering from. If you chose death, you can let the fire weaken and die. Or you can simply walk into the shadows to let the demons of darkness drag you to where your death waits, extinguishing your life force forever. However if you do desire life, it would be a wise choice to use the gift your brother has left you."


	5. The gods have some how blessed me

Donnie glanced to where Leo had sat moments ago and found another firelog. However he made no move to place the log on the fire. He longed to return to his family, but was it truly his family that was waiting for him. The hurtful disappointment of hearing his brothers during the few moments he had truly been able to have some semblance of rest while in captivity.

Maybe this world and the visions he had of his family were all illusions of his mind, made in order to separate himself from what was really happening and in reality he was still trapped in Shredders clutches. It would be a cruel joke indeed, if he were to return to consciousness after however long he had been trapped here only to find himself imprisoned and alone once again.

"You still have your doubts young one?" The woman shadow inquired.

"Before I appeared in this forest," Donnie said cautiously. "There were moments I could hear my family. But when I awoke..."

"There is a spiritual connection between your family and yourself." The woman shadow answered. "Ninjutsu is an art of the body as well as the mind, and spirit. The spiritual connection you hold to those around you cannot be severed, and it was that connection that helped give you the strength to endure."

Donnie considered this; Leonardo was the most spiritual of the four of them and was more adept at meditation. So it would make sense for him to make an attempt at contact through meditation if at all. But the rest of them didn't see the point of such practices. Raph didn't have the patience, Mikey didn't have the focus…for Donnie on the other hand meditation was a last desperate option. While he had the patience and focus needed for such spiritual practices, he preferred more tangible ways finding the answers he desired.

"So what I was hearing was the spirits of my family calling out to me?" Donnie surmised.

"Hai." The shadow woman answered.

"And my brothers and father are beyond that gate?" Donatello asked as if trying to confirm this.

"Hai Donatello," The woman shadow answered. "They are waiting for you to awaken and return to them. Right now it seems another of your loved ones has come to speak to you."

Donatello's mahogany brown eyes widened as one person he hoped to see most of all approached through the shadows.

* * *

"Awww, that was so sweet." April smiled as Leonardo got up albeit reluctantly from where he had been sitting by his younger brothers side.

"Oh yeah, Leo and Donnie are certainly a pair." Raph stated.

"Like two pods in a pea…" Mikey proudly said causing both Leo and Raph to slap a hand to their faces in exasperation.

"I think you mean two peas in a pod." April corrected.

"We all have our own partnerships." Leo answered. "And those partnerships work depending on the situation, for example Donnie and I work best in reconnaissance situations."

"Better watch out fearless leader." Raph sarcastically commented. "Sometimes you both to have me wondering whose really leader of the team."

"And what's that supposed to mean." Leo demanded.

"Oh nothing," Raph answered. "It's just sometime I think maybe our little Donnie could have been a better leader then you, at least he doesn't get his advice on leadership from a stupid TV show."

"Well…" Leo started to get huffy. "It seems you're the one who's always challenging me over who should be better leader, and I've never seen him throw his hat into the ring."

"Does Donnie even have a hat?" Mikey asked April in confusion. Raph didn't answer Leo as he looked at the floor remembering something. His eyes not holding the self-confident gaze they normally held.

"You remember that time Donnie, Mikey, and I went after Snakeweed?" Raph asked. "The time I felt I would make a better leader then you?"

"Yeah, you and Donnie came home with Mikey unconscious." Leo stated.

"Yeah, but I didn't tell you the whole story." Raph stated. "When Mikey was knocked out, I froze and didn't know what I should do. It was for a moment, but it was like Donnie just unconsciously seemed tap into some inner resolve successfully restraining Snakeweed. Then he managed to snap me out of the panic I had gone into and told me we needed to get Mikey and get out of there before Snakeweed managed to regenerate. It was like he had suddenly transformed from mild mannered geek and turned into you...when you aren't spouting BS you got from 'Space Heroes' that is."

"Well you did say that each of us did have the potential to lead this group, right Master Splinter?" Leonardo mentioned. "But you chose me as leader because I am the only one who asked."

"Correct," Splinter answered as he stroked his face fur, before he knelt down next to the cot to check Donatello's pulse and temperature. "Unlike you Raphael however, Donatello did understand and know that being a leader carries a burden of responsibility for those who follow. Because of this, Donatello has loyally followed Leonardo almost as a second in command, ready to help shoulder the responsibility that had been placed on you and in moments of desperation to carry the mantle of leadership himself."

"It seems his fever has broken," Splinter stated with some relief. "But his temperature is still higher than it should be."

"That's good, right?" Mikey asked in concern.

"Yes, it means he's fighting his way back to us." Splinter said as he spoke to his sons. "But there still a battle that waits for him when he wakes up. He will need all of us, but he will need the three of you most of all."

"So does anyone else have any memories to share with Donnie?" Raph asked, his emerald eyes guiltily landing on Donnie as if he had seen his brother in a condition like this before.

"Mikey and I have already gone," Leo pointed out. "So that leaves you Raph." Raphael gritted his teeth and tried not to look at his immediate younger brother. Unfortunately everything in the room was something that painfully reminded him of Donnie. All that he never appreciated, all that he disregarded, all that he took for granted was in this room. Everything in this room lovingly molded and constructed by Donnie's gentle hands.

Even the disgusting blob in a jar that was formerly a human being known as Timothy AKA the Pulverizer, a human for some strange reason Donnie had been determined to save from his own stupidity. Raph cringed in self-disgust has he remembered himself saying: _"Donnie, were gonna let you keep him. But you have to stash him in your lab, so I don't have to look at him."_ For heaven's sake, the Pulverizer had been a person who had met a horrible fate simply because he wanted to help. And here he was treating him like some weird pet that followed Donnie home. Tears stung at Raph's eyes tried to swallow his guilt. He would never understand the level of compassion that Donnie held for others, even when they clearly didn't deserve it.

"I don't have anything to say." Raph grumbled.

"Really…?" Leo asked skeptically.

"I don't believe that." April pointed out skeptically.

"Donnie and I…" Raph answered. "We never got along…we were too different. So forgive me if I don't have any pleasant memories to share in this happy little therapy session we all seem to be having."

"I wouldn't say that you never got along with him," Leo stated firmly. "You just didn't care to."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Raph countered. "But last I checked you guys also get annoyed when Donnie goes into geek speak."

"At least you guys actually listen." Mikey said. "I kinda lose interest after five seconds." Donatello responded by making a small noise of discomfort.

"You're brother hears you and he understands." Splinter translated.

"Maybe you have a memory he needs to hear?" April suggested. "I don't have any siblings, but even if I did and I was in a situation that is similar to Donnie's at this time. Well I'd think the person I would want to hear from most is my father."

"I believe you may be right…" Splinter said. "I have told you the story of the origin of our family many times. But I have not said this version."

* * *

Before him was stood his father: proud, noble, and strong Hamato Yoshi. It felt odd seeing his father as a human as he had always known him as a giant rat, but at the same time it was fitting to who he should truly be. Donnie longed to fall into his father's arms, have those strong yet gentle and caring arms hold him and let him know his suffering was over. But this wasn't his father…this was a vision of his father that his subconscious had created because the real Master Splinter was trying to reach him in the outer world.

"Donatello, my son…" The human said as he took his place at the fire. "You must gather all your strength and return to us. The Shredder has taken many things from me: My family, my clan, my home, and in a way he has taken my humanity as well. You and your brothers are all I truly have left and I would be devastated if I lost any of you to his evil and hatred. Remember the story about how we become a family, you and your brothers would ask me to tell you the story of our origin over and over again. I am certain you most of all could repeat the story from memory."

Donatello nodded in response. It was a story his brothers and himself had never tired of, particularly Mikey who endlessly wanted to hear that story every mutation day.

"After I lost everything I knew and loved during my final battle with the Shredder," Splinter stated. "I fled Japan and began a new life in New York City. The dishonor and wounds I suffered were still fresh in my mind and I wanted my old friend to feel that same pain. The small apartment I was able to afford allowed pets, so I made my way to a local pet store that had turtles for sale, buying four infant turtles."

_*Flash back*_

_"Let us go home now, chibi kame." Hamato Yoshi whispered to the four turtles that resided in the glass bowl he carried. Suddenly a rather rude gentlemen bumped into his shoulder before continuing to walk to wherever he was going. The Japanese immigrant felt something odd and strangely inhuman about the gentleman, logic told him to ignore it and continue home. But his instincts a ninja master told him to trust in his unsettling feelings he had and discover what the strange man was up to. _

_Turning Hamato kept following the strange gentleman from midtown to the lower east side keeping a safe distance so as not to be detected. When the strange man finally did stop he was joined by an identical man cradling a large container of some viscous glowing greenish-blue fluid. It was difficult to hear what the two strange men were saying, but whatever it was it was clear the conversation was about the substance in the container. Hamato Yoshi leaned in closer straining to hear the two men better, not realizing his foot was landing on the tail of a large rat until it let out a loud indignant squeak. The two men looked up at the noise spotting Yoshi, as if by magic two other men appeared. All of them equal in appearance to two men who were now approaching him. _

_"Go no further." One of the strange men stated cryptically. "This place is a place where you are not allowed to be in this place."_

_"We have been seen in this place by you." Another of the strange men intoned. "So this is not a place that will be left by you." _

_The strange men all attacked Hamato Yoshi, determined to silence him forever. However they didn't anticipate that Japanese man who had been spying on them was a trained ninja master. Hamato landed a solid kick to the solar plexus of one of the men, a second man jumped at him and was sent flying into a nearby wall. The two other men including the one holding the container of ooze rushed at him. Landing a solid punch to the face of the first man, Hamato threw a phoenix punch at the final man. _

_Then all he knew was the intensity of burning pain as the container of ooze fell to the ground breaking open and splashing everywhere. The ooze felt like acid and burned like fire where it touched his skin. But wasn't just the areas it touched, it was his whole body. His body screamed in pain as his muscles, bones, and flesh reformed itself, one finger on each hand falling off and landing on the ground, the pin pricks of hundreds of hairs sprouting from his body and the intense tearing pain from his backside as a long, bald, worm like tail emerged The pain was so intense he was unaware that he had dropped the glass bowl holding the turtles until he heard the sound of glass shattering. Hamato Yoshi roared in pain before falling into an exhausted heap on the ground, his breath heaving out in shallow pants. And then his large ears picked up a sound…the sound of crying. Crying infants? Looking about him the turtles he had bought were now the size of human babies, all roughly between 6-11 months in age, all of them shivering in the cold alley as they looked about them in confusion. _

_"Over here officer…" He heard someone several yards away. "I heard the sound of someone screaming this way." Hamato Yoshi knew he couldn't let anyone see him, not as he was. Nor could he allow them to see the turtle children. Grabbing the four turtles into his arms he did the only thing he could do…he ran. Luck was with him as he saw an entrance to a subway tunnel up ahead; it was one of the old abandoned entrances from the early 1900's. Its entry way blocked with boards of plywood, only a small obstacle in his path as he entered the space. A set of stairs leading him downward into a dark, dusty, and cobweb strewn room, he didn't stop to admire place as he heard grumbling and footstep coming down the stairs not far behind. _

_"Do you think they coulda made their way down here Charlie?" Asked one._

_"Maybe," The one known as Charlie said. "Transients and lowlifes have been known to lurk in places like this." Hamato Yoshi didn't wait as he rushed up a set of stairs leading to a track long since dead forgotten. He rushed down the tunnel without stopping until he reached a cluster of abandoned subway cars. One of the cars was opened to the world outside as if inviting safe haven. Hamato immediately rushed for it, placing the turtle children on the floor of the car before latching the doors shut. _

_Sitting down the Japanese man was able to finally realize what he had become. He was no longer a man…no longer human. He was a rat, an enormous man sized rat. His life on the surface world was over…his family was gone. What was there for him now? Painfully the enormous rat wept bitter tears of loss and grief when he suddenly felt a small three fingered hand touching his arm. Glancing down he found himself looking into the face of one of the kame children he had brought with him to their underground refuge. The other three sat together on the floor of the train car, one with sapphire blue eyes and another with emerald green eyes both seemed to be around ten or eleven months old. The two of infants holding one another, as if trying to keep each other warm or protect one another. A third almost yellowish green freckle faced infant who looked to be about six months old lay on his back, his light blue eyes observing the world around him with blissful ignorance and a thumb in his mouth. _

_The small child regarding Hamato Yoshi looked hardly more than eight months old, his skin a pale olive green color. Some of his teeth had grown in but there was an apparent gap in his two front teeth. His eyes were a different color from his friends. While the other three turtles had light colored eyes, this one held a dark shade of reddish brown, sort of like the red tone of mahogany wood. _

_The dark eyed child didn't view the gigantic rat with fear, but with curiosity and fascination. Hesitantly the large rat reached a hand to the boy…at least he believed the child to be a boy. The child lightly grabbed hold of one of Hamato Yoshi's fingers and began to examine the paw like four fingered hand; there was pure gentleness in the child's touch. Memories of the pain he endured during his transformation bubbled to the surface of his mind, if the pain was excruciating for him. It must have been both confusing and unbearable for ones so young; gently he picked the turtle child up holding him as gently as he had once held Miwa. In response the child settled his arms, the two others who were holding each other seemed to take a cue from this one the large rat would not hurt them and crawled over eyeing the rat curiously The littlest one also rolled over on all fours and crawled over to join his companions. The child in his arms protested slightly when the large rat sat him among the other three. The green eyed one began to poke "Freckle Face" incessantly, causing the younger one to whine in protest at the abuse. The dark eyed one protectively pulling "Freckle face" towards him causing the green eyed one to poke at him instead. However "Green eyes" gave up when he realized that the dark eyed one was not going to do anything in response. Hamato Yoshi knew these children needed someone they can turn to as a guardian and teacher. Perhaps fate for all its cruelty has its own form of ironic blessings as well. _

_"It seems we are destined to be the most unusual of families." Hamato Yoshi said as he placed one hand on the heads of the sapphire eyed child and the mahogany eyed child who both seemed the calmest of the four children. "I have lost my loved ones, my home, my humanity, but the gods have somehow blessed me with you four…my children… my sons." _

_Settling down on the floor of the car the former human let the infant turtles huddle close to him and slowly fall asleep. A smile slowly spread over his face as he watched the young ones sleep together. The bulker green eyed one curled among his brothers in a way of saying he would fight whoever dared harm them. The brown eyed one and the sapphire eyed one curled protectively around the youngest. Some day soon he would figure out names for his new charges and maybe a new name for himself as well. Hamato Yoshi the man was dead…perhaps something more suited to his new form something like…Splinter. Yes that was perfect, he would be known as Splinter and these four treasures were his beloved sons, his new family. _

_*End Flashback*_


	6. Where you are weakest

A tear had softly come to his eyes as he smiled at the memory his father had left with him. Perhaps fate in all its irony had planned on granting Hamato Yoshi another chance at being a father. Even if it was father figure to four misfits who would never be understood by human society.

He didn't watch his father vanish into sparks of light like he had his eldest brother however. Instead he ticked off on his fingers, how many people he had listened to so far. First it was Mikey which in itself wasn't surprising as Mikey was the first to volunteer for new experiences. He had been the first of them to try Pizza, he had volunteered to try out the T-pod, so naturally he was the first to try talking to him. And seeing Mikey dressed in a simple kimono…well a kimono was a simple garment. But for one who wasn't used to it, a kimono could be a rather complex garment to wear. The same could be said Mikey, he often came across as simple minded even to those who knew him. But every so often his mind showed a complexity that came off as surprising.

Leonardo had been the next one. Leo was the leader of their group and the most adept in Spiritual areas than anyone else. Donatello smiled softly to himself as he remembered his eldest brother appearing in a blue kimono and white hakama, and how he appeared so proud and noble as he approached the fire. Leonardo was far from perfect, but he was the most dedicated of the four of them to the art of ninjutsu.

Fiercely proud Leo approached everything with the strength of an admirable leader. However there were plenty of times Donatello had wished his eldest brother would follow his own instincts, instead of the advice of Captain Ryan from that scifi show he was obsessed with. Sometimes Leo didn't even consider his the opinions of his brothers, such as when the Pulverizer had become part of the Foot Clan. Donatello was the only one of the four of them who was saying they needed to get him out, and Leo completely disregarded his younger brother's opinion as if it didn't matter. Leo had been making what he felt was a tactical decision and Donnie understood that…but that didn't mean Leo couldn't have taken him aside for two minutes and say: _"This situation seems to be bothering you, can you tell me what's going on?"_ Not doing so had certainly put strain on the loyalty Donatello had always had for older brother. But despite his flaws, Leo also was noble enough to admit when he was wrong from time to time.

And lastly Splinter, he had envisioned his father the way he had always known him, the strong and fierce yet benevolent man who he looked up to as a teacher and protector his whole life. But he had envisioned Splinter as a human and not a gigantic man sized rat. This was largely because Splinter had been a human before he became their father, and seeing him as a human felt right because that was the way things should have been.

That only left Raph and possibly April picking up one of the logs that had been left behind by Leo and Splinter; Donnie placed it on the fire. The ring of light expanded forward, he could hear his family as clearly as though they were standing beside him, but still he couldn't see them.

"Did you guys know when you were children, Donnie had a dream you didn't want him as a brother anymore?" April said. It was more of a statement then a question. It was clear though that this was not something his three brothers expect to hear though.

"Where would he get an idea like that?" Mikey asked, "Donnie and I are as cool as cucumber pizza."

"Really? 'Cause the way I see it he gets seriously annoyed with you." Raph said. "Heck, you annoy everyone at one point."

"Still I think I can understand where he would get that idea." Leo said almost regretfully. "Sometimes he's so quiet you forget he's even around. And other times…" And there was a pause as though Leo was looking at something. "Other times it like we forget about him in general, even when we know he's there."

Donnie's eyes widened at that statement. Did he hear that statement correctly? Placing the second log on the fire, the light expanded further outward replacing the forest with a vision of his lab back at the lair. It felt like it had been ages since he saw it last. In one corner of the room sat his work table with his desk top computer, his lap top sitting beside it waiting to be used. Several items he had been working on before he had left to get that remote device for the Shellraiser.

He no longer felt the presence of the shadow creatures that were hunting him, but he could still feel the comforting presence of the shadow woman…no wait. The shadow woman had a name; she had been a person once…a woman who he had known of, but had never met personally. Someone his father had spoken of many times…Teng Shen.

He could still feel the comforting presence of Teng Shen nearby, and if he didn't turn his head he could see her out of the corner of one eye. A beautiful yet sad matronly woman dressed in a crimson kimono, her raven black hair done up in a bun.

His family all stood about him in the room and he saw them the way he subconsciously envisioned them: noble Leonardo in his blue kimono and white hakama, simple Mikey in his orange Kimono, the benevolent Master Splinter as a human in his crimson Yukata. He also saw Raph and April as the way he would subconsciously envision them. April dressed in an elaborate golden kimono printed with soft pink peonies. She almost looked like a Japanese princess, which was appropriate since Donnie thought of her as his sweet princess. Raph on the other hand was dressed in a red and black martial arts gi, again this was appropriate too since Raph was the passionate warrior and protector of the group. As much as he acted like a bully or a jerk, he was also caring and compassionate underneath it all. But this was something he had trouble expressing, because it was like he felt his brothers would think less of him if he revealed his softer and gentler side.

Glancing at the cot, Donnie couldn't help but feel slightly weirded out at seeing his own body lying in a dead-to-the-world slumber. He wasn't wearing anything beyond what he normally wore around the lair, but that could because Donnie had never seen himself as anything special. While he did pride himself on his ingenuity and he wished his genius was appreciated a bit more then it was, he was still just Hamato Donatello, or just Donnie, the third son of Hamato Yoshi AKA Master Splinter.

"And other times it's like we wish he didn't exist." Raph started, but then froze when he realized everyone was staring at him. "What don't tell me you guys haven't had moments where you wish he'd just disappear?"

"Tone it down on the techno-babble, maybe." Mikey said rather maturely. "But I'd never wish he didn't exist."

"That's because he hangs out with you most of the time." Raphael growled. "So of course you'd think that, the dork's practically the only friend you have."

"I can't believe you are even saying this Raph," Leo defended. "There have been fights we wouldn't have gotten through without Donnie."

"And people who would be victims of the Kraang." April agreed.

"Okay, I admit the brainiac has his uses," Raph said, "But he also causes more problems than he helps. Take Metalhead for example, that robot was clunky, clumsy, and we'd be better off if he hadn't made that thing in the first place considering the Kraang managed take possession of it."

"So Donnie made a mistake with that one, even geniuses have been known to make them." Leo defended. "But he also saved our lives that night, and all you did was pay him back with contempt."

"And he was able to use Metalhead to read that storage thingy I picked up when we were at TCRI." Mikey added standing next to Leo. Donnie was having a few conflicting emotions about Raphael's attitude. His immediate older brother has always had an abrasive attitude, but he wasn't heartless. Majority of the time he didn't know what to do with his feelings or other people so he would end up lashing out in a temper tantrum like a child. But yet Donnie could feel that there was more to what Raph was saying.

"Is it truly Donatello that has caused this irritation?" Splinter calmly asked seeming to sense the same thing. "Your brother has heard from every one of us."

"Every one of us except April…" Raph stated.

"…And you. You are the only one of us who is showing any reluctance to this, what are you so afraid of?" April asked.

"Who said I was afraid?" Raph growled. "I honestly have nothing to say to Donnie."

"Yes you do," Donnie answered placing a hand on his immediate brother's shoulder. Even though Raph couldn't see or hear him, Raph suddenly jerked and looked at his shoulder as if he had felt someone touch him. A memory filled the red masked turtles mind. A memory of two year old Donatello being carried way a rapid current of sewer water. His young voice a high pitched squeal as he cried out "Aniki! Min'na! Tasukete!" before he was sucked under water. Instead of confronting this memory, Raph instead stormed out of the lab.

"Perhaps we should just let Donatello rest for now." Splinter sighed as he began guiding everyone out of the room. April however decided to stay and sat down next to the cot.

"Raph didn't mean it…" April said calmly to Donnie. "I know he can be insensitive and rude, but I know underneath that he's a caring person. I'm sure you agree with me on that one…you've known him longer then I have."

"It's because the only memory he has to share here is a memory of regret, April." Donnie answered as he sat with the subconscious version of April O'Neil. "He is lashing out because he feels like he's failed…"

* * *

Raph fought back tears as he slammed fist after fist into his punching bag, as memories assaulting his mind with the same fierceness.

*flash back*

_Mikey sat enjoying a slice of pizza from off of one of Leonardo's Katana, while Raph and Leo tried to effectively use their younger brother's weapons. While Raph still preferred his sais over Mikey's nunchucks any day of the week, but things could have been worse. He could have been handed Donatello's stupid weapon, and Raph would gladly have anything else over fighting with a useless stick. And speaking of the Donnie, the dork was sitting off to the side of the room holding one of Raph's sai worriedly. It was clear this weapon was one that the younger turtle wasn't familiar with or comfortable with. Raph didn't know whether to go over and show him how to use the weapon properly, or yell at him for not wielding it right. Donnie had certainly seen Raph use the sais enough times, certainly he must have had some idea of how they were supposed to work. _

_At that moment however, Donnie T-phone indicated a text message had come. The purple masked turtle picked up the phone and looked at the ID screen. _

_"Uh oh." Donnie said. "Text message from you-know-who." Mikey looked up confused as to who Donatello was talking about. Donnie let out a sigh and said "Text message from everyone-but-Mikey-knows-who. The Pulverizer is telling us where the foot are going to strike next."_

_"What do you know?" Raph said. "He's actually useful." Donnie mahogany brown eyes widened in horror for a few seconds before he narrowed them in anger._

_"Yeah, but he can't stay in the foot!" Donnie firmly said. "They'll toast him." Raph just couldn't understand why this whole thing was bothering Donnie so much. For once they had actual inside information on what the Foot were planning and someone who could give it to them, why couldn't the younger turtle see that? The chubby fan boy wanted to help, this was considered helping. _

_"Inside information Donnie, it's worth the risk." Raph answered pointedly._

_"But we're not the ones taking the risk, the Pulverizer is!" Donnie responded, though it was clear he was starting to lose ground in the argument. The look in his eyes was almost as if he was pleading his brasher older brother to at least consider the fact that an innocent person was putting himself at risk for them. _

_"I know it's the perfect plan." Raph responded. Leo seemed to consider both sides of the argument for a short moment then said. _

_"Alright, we'll follow up on his lead. Then we'll bust the poor guy out of the foot." Leo answered in order to stop things from potentially becoming ugly._

_*End Flashback*_

The memories continued further on from threatening bodily harm if Donnie didn't work at the pace Raph wanted, to making cracks about Donatello receiving a replacement staff while Splinter was within ear shot. To deliberately breaking Donnies weapon in half just so he could use the broken pieces to beat his younger brothers shell like a taiko drum.

Very few times had he ever been supportive or appreciative of Donnie's efforts. The rest of the time he may as well have called Donnie a useless ninja to his face. Even when they first received their weapons he had made a joke about it.

_*Flash Back*_

_Donatello stepped out of the Dojo holding his new bo staff in his hands. The young turtle didn't know why this weapon had chosen him, and disappointment was an understatement for how he was feeling as he watched the other three ten year old's happily showing off their weapons. The metallic singing of the Leo's katana as they sliced through the air, the rattle of Michelangelo's nunchucks as they spun fast and ever free, even the sharp scrape of Raphael's sai as he twirled them in his hands. How could he face his brothers knowing the weapon that had chosen him was…_

_"Hey look guys, Donnie's weapon is just a stupid stick." Raphael laughed, Michelangelo also chortled mirthfully along with his brother. Leo on the other hand didn't jump Donnie's defense, in a matter of fact he looked he was trying to prevent himself from laughing. _

_"Wow, that's a …a great weapon to have." Leo answered in a lame attempted at making his second brother feel better about his new weapon. _

_"Yeah, great for batting practice." Michelangelo agreed with a laugh. _

_"Watch out, or he'll cause you to trip." Raph said before he fell into another round of belly laughs. Leo also smirked at that until he noticed Donnie was looks more like he wanted to cry. Splinter came up behind his third son and placed a fatherly hand on the 10 year old genin's shoulder. The stern look on their father and masters face telling everyone that he wasn't pleased with their behavior. _

_"It would be wise for you three to remember," Splinter scolded. "It isn't the weapon, but the integrity of the wielder that truly shows a warrior's worth." _

_"But come on sensei, a bo staff." Raph said. "In the history of lame weapons, the bo staff has to be one of the lamest."_

_"Oh really then perhaps you would like a demonstration of what this lame weapon is capable of." Splinter stated. As he calmly took the wooden-pole from Donatello, and running it in seemingly complex sequence of jabs, spins, and ending sharp strike that seemed aimed at Raphael's throat. Earning some amazed looks from both Leo and Michelangelo, Raph was also impressed, but wasn't about to show it. _

_"Yeah, but Sensei." Raph said. "This is Donnie we're talking about here; he's not exactly the most effective at fighting. In fact compared to the rest of us, he's the weakest one."_

_"Oh, I didn't realize you thought so poorly of your own brother." Splinter sarcastically answered as he handed the wooden staff to Donatello once again. "Perhaps I must be wasting my time by even training him since he's useless according to your expert opinion." _

_"You're not wasting your time sensei," Raph said. "I just feel that maybe he should be better fighter is all."_

_"Raphael, step forward." Splinter answered. Raph obediently but reluctantly did as his master said. He knew he was in trouble and was about to be punished. But what was more painful than a session of randori with Master Splinter, was seeing Donnie running off in the direction of the dormitories and slamming the door behind him. _

_*End Flashback*_

Raph nearly jumped as he felt a four fingered paw on his shoulder.

"Sen…Sensei," He gasped as he met his gaze with his teachers burnt sienna eyes.

"What is truly troubling you my son?" The wise rat asked.

"Oh…sorry I love to stay and chat, but I think Spike needs feeding?" Raph said feeling uncomfortable.

"Sit!" Splinter commanded, Raph obediently sat down.

"Now, tell me what is truly troubling you." The wise rat answered. Raph sighed.

"I feel like…" Raph answered. "I feel like what happened to Donnie was my fault. I mean it was my fault that he nearly died when we were children. And ever since then I have pushed him away, ignored him, and acted like he doesn't matter. Because every time I see him…I see what I nearly cost this family with my foolishness. Then this happens and I just…I don't know. I guess I just wish I wasn't asleep when he left for the junkyard that night, if I accompanied him then he wouldn't be like this. "

"I see," Splinter said. "So you irrationally lash out at your younger brothers, because you feel responsible."

"Well yeah," Raph agreed. "I mean, I'm the strongest. If Leo is the member of this family who is meant to lead and Donnie is the brains so he is the one who comes up with all the inventions and solutions to problems. And Mikey is meant to be…well free to be Mikey. I'm the one who is meant to protect this family and defend my brothers from people like the Shredder."

"You may be the strongest physically." Splinter chided. "But it's easy to hurt another person, to show compassion, to have patience, to teach, to heal, to create, to learn, to endure that is something that that takes real strength. And that I where I am sorry to say, you are weakest."


	7. Memories and Nightmares

April had gone off to bed a few moments ago leaving Donnie's alone with his sleeping body. The lair had grown quiet so that only meant that the others had decided to get some sleep as well. Raph had stopped at the labs entry way at one point, almost as if he wanted to say something now that he didn't have an audience. Instead he just stood there and watched Donnie as he slept before he moved off towards the dormitory room he shared with Mikey.

Donatello didn't question why family was leaving him alone now. It was possible they felt the worst part at least at this stage of his recovery was over so there wasn't anything they needed to add. At the same time he couldn't help feeling somewhat lonely. Yes he could go to the dormitory and sit in the room he shared Leo, and yes the thought of watching April sleep crossed his mind for the briefest of moments. Thankfully he wasn't like love interest in that Vampire romance, that he had April had watched (and made jokes through due to how ridiculous it was) together when it was on TV a week or so before he had been kidnapped.

A bleary eyed Mikey wandered past the lab to go visit the restroom. However soon afterwards he pauses by the lab and glanced in and watched his unconscious older brother as he slept. A small ghost of a smile seemed to creep across his childish face as he approached. He knelt at Donnie's beside a moment before lifting one of Donatello's arms up, taking care not add further damage to the already damaged limb. And curling on to the cot looking for all the world like a small child seeking comfort from an older sibling. A small tear drifted down Mikey's cheek as he closed his eyes as he started to fall asleep.

*Flashback*

_Mikey wandered into the lab to see what his brother was up too. He understood that when Donnie was busy he didn't like to be bothered, but still there was no harm in stopping by the lair to say 'Hi', was there?_

_When Mikey poked his head through the lab doors he didn't see Donnie at first, which confused him. He hadn't seen Donnie leave the lab since training that morning, and he wouldn't leave the lair without saying so. Everything in the lab was where it should have been when it wasn't in use. Mikey's eyes swept the room once again when they landed on Donnie's computer desk. Donatello was slumped against the desk with his head resting in his arms. _

_Stepping away from the lab door, Mikey went to the linen closet and pulled out a quilt. Carrying it to the lab with him he walked up to Donatello and draped the quilt over his sleeping brother._

*End Flashback*

"Wake up soon, Donnie." The smaller turtle said. "We miss you." Donnie softly smiled as he gently traced his fingers down his only younger brother's face.

"I miss you too." He answered.

* * *

Leo tossed and turned in his sleep, a small groan forced its way out from between his parted lips. In his dreams he was running through a void of darkness.

_"Donnie!" He cried out as he frantically looked about for his second brother. "Donnie, where are you?" He could feel his brother need him. Suddenly Karai appeared the blade of her sword out and ready for action. _

_"Why do you care about where your brother is?" Karai asked coyly. "It seems to me that you're better off without him."_

_"I care because he's my brother…" Leo shouted back. _

_"The weak deserve to be discarded," Karai sneered "I could tell just by looking at him he was the weakest of the bunch."_

_"Donatello may not be the best fighter on our team." Leo retorted. "But he's anything but weak. And further more unlike you…I *know* I can trust him."_

_"Maybe…but can he trust you?" Karai smirked. "You have betrayed your families trust in the past."_

_"Only because I thought I could trust you," Leo answered. "I don't know what sort of life you've lived with the Shredder or what lies he's told you, but you have my sympathy."_

_"I don't need your pity, Leonardo." Karai spat as if insulted. "If you knew the things your master was truly responsible for, you and your brothers would prostrate yourselves before my father and swear your allegiance."_

_"Because I know the sort of man your father is," Leo answered. "And I know Master Splinter would never imprison and torture someone for information. Even you must see there is no honor in that."_

_"Actually I'm okay with it." Karai said. "Like I told you, your brother means nothing to me."_

_"Then I was obviously wrong about you." Leo said his eyes turning away from her. "There is no goodness in your heart; all there is darkness that will never learn to feel compassion for others." _

_Karai faded from the void. To be replaced by a screen like image, this one holding Donatello sitting alone in his prison cell. Leo could tell his younger brother was trying to keep up a sense of bravado considering his situation, but underneath it was obvious he was frightened. From the look of the bruises and other injuries it was obvious he under gone an intense beating at some point. _

_At that moment an arc of electricity traveled from the ceiling to the floor creating a thunder like boom. Donnie cringed and scooted away from the blast of lightning as another arc of electricity a few seconds later in a different part of the room. _

_Leo watched his brother look frantically about him in fright as tears began to course down his face. Bringing his knees closer to his chest Donnie curled into a ball like shape, his hands covering his ear slits as he rocked back and forth his rapid rise and fall of his chest proof he was starting the hyperventilate. _

_"Leo…." Donnie said in a voice that was hardly above a whisper. "Leo, where are you? Please…Mikey, Raph, Sensei, someone…hel…help me!" Leo wished he could jump into the scene and pull Donnie out of his torment. A gasp of horror left the blue masked turtles mouth as one of the blasts of electricity struck Donnie head on. _

_"ANIKI!" Donnie cried out as electricity coursed through him and sending him flying backwards at least a couple feet. For a couple moments the taller turtle lay sprawled out on the ground, his skin slightly scorched from the blast. His body trembled but refused to respond, it was as though every muscle in his body had gone numb. _

_"Donnie!" Leo cried as he watched his brother get struck again, this time in the stomach. He may not be as knowledgeable as Donnie about science or medical practices. But too many electric shocks like that Turtle or no would be fatal. For a moment it almost looked like it was fatal as Donatello lay unconscious with his eyes closed, he didn't even seem to be breathing. But his brother had to have survived this somehow; his body was still alive and sleeping in the lab, right? Leo's worries where alleviated as the man made lightning storm was shut off. Donnie lay still for a couple moments more before he heaved in a deep but ragged gasp of air and started heaving some heavy sounding coughs as he painfully forced his body to roll over onto his hands and knees. He sat like that his body shaking before he shifted into a kneeling position covering his eyes with one hand._

* * *

"Donatello!" Leo cried out his younger brother's name as he sat up in bed. Getting up he grabbed his eye mask and made his way to the lab. He glanced in the room and smiled somewhat sadly seeing Mikey asleep curled up next to Donatello his head resting against Donatello's chest.

If it wasn't for the bandages around Donatello's upper arms and shoulders, the two of them would look like they were just curled up together in their peaceful slumber.

Donnie looked up from where he was keeping vigil next to his sleeping body and moved aside as if making room for his eldest brother. The interesting thing about having ones consciousness separated from your body was you were able to learn things and see things about people you couldn't otherwise.

Leo sat down at Donatello's side, tears brimming in his eyes as he took one of Donatello's hands in both his own and lightly pressed the limb to his forehead. "I'm sorry." Leo said softly so not to wake up Mikey. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there when you needed me most. If only we had found that device sooner."

"It's not your fault, Leo." Donnie answered his brother putting a comforting hand on his brother's shell. Leo stiffened and looked about him, as if trying to see what was touching him but saw no one. Leo closed his eyes and smiled softly.

"You're here, aren't you…" He said softly to Donnie's sleeping form. "Please wake up soon, we aren't the same without you."

Getting up Leo affectionately rubbed his second brother's scalp before heading to his bedroom. Curling back up on his tatami mat he glanced around the room. Never before had it felt so secluded. In the past Leo hadn't minded the times he had the room to himself while Donnie was in the lab, but that's because he knew Donnie quietly slip into the room whenever he was done. Now, the empty bed next to him felt like it was made in expectation of someone who would never come.

* * *

Raph also had been having trouble sleeping, and woke up after Leo returned to his room. He just couldn't fathom what Splinter had said to him. Saying that while he was the strongest physically was weaker in other areas….he did admit having compassion and other things like that was important. But he was the best fighter and the strongest turtle, how could he be weak in anything.

_"You may be the strongest physically. But it's easy to hurt another person, to show compassion, to have patience, to teach, to heal, to create, to learn, to endure that is something that that takes real strength. And that I where I am sorry to say, you are weakest." _Splinter's words echoed in his mind.

It was no question Donatello had been through hell, and while one hell was over, another hell was beginning. It was better not to dwell on what things Donatello had been through from the moment he had been captured. All he knew was that he wanted to make those responsible: The Shredder, Dogpound, that harpy Karai, heck he'd gladly punish the Kraang if he had the opportunity. He wanted them to feel everything Donnie had gone through and then some. He wanted them to pay for hurting his brother….hurting his family.

A memory began to flood Raph's mind, a painful memory that Raph would have sooner forgotten.

*Flashback*

_Leo pulled Donnie out of the filthy water, holding his younger brother he coughed the sewer water he had inhaled and swallowed. After several moments Donnie sank to his knees the moment he felt he had ejected all he could from his small body. Shivering as he curled against his eldest brother for warmth. _

_"Donnie…I." Raph started to say but paused and looked away. "Watch where you're going next time?"_

_"Raphie!" Leo scolded as he held his second brother close. The smell of the sewer water coming off Donnie's skin made him want to gag and he was sure he didn't smell any better. But he couldn't believe Raphael was blaming Donnie for the accident. _

_"What?" Raph said coldly. "If the dork hadn't been in my way, he wouldn't have fallen in."_

_"Will Don-don be kay-kay?" Mikey asked from where he was looking between his three brothers with a confuzzled expression. _

_"Don't know Mikey?" Leo answered. "The water is really yucky, and Donnie feels cold"_

_"Ta…tastes yucky…sm..ells yu..cky." Donnie added through his shivers "Ani….Leo…I…I don't…fff..feel so good."_

*End Flash Back*

Sighing he stood up and looked at Spike who sat curled on the end of the bed blinking owlishly at him.

"I know I should go talk to Donnie." Raph sighed. "And I wish it was that easy, but I can't. I mean yeah I love my brothers, but even if I do go talk with him it's not like telling stories will just wake someone up, right?"

Spiked cocked his head to the side.

"Yeah, I thought so." Raph said. He glanced up when he heard a set of footsteps walk past his door and towards the lair. It had to have been April, Leo was back in his room and who knew where Mikey was. Looking back at Spike, he saw the smaller turtle looking at the door in the direction of the lairs common area. Before the turtle slowly turned his head and looked at Raph once again, his eyes blinking owlishly.

"Fine, I'll go talk to Donnie." Raph grumbled as he walked out of the room. Walking through the lair quietly, he padded his way to the lab. Glancing into the lab his eyes widened as the sight he beheld. Mikey lay peacefully curled in sleep against Donnie while April sat in a kneeling position beside the bed. However it was what April was doing that surprised Raph, as he watched the human girl lean over Donnie pressing her lips to his forehead in what could only be described as a kiss.


End file.
